What is Jewish marriage, and how does it begin?
Jewish marriage is a holy covenant, and it rests on commitment, family and the continuity of the Jewish people. It is fully absorbed in tradition and religious significance, and the foundation of marriage is regarded as a central pillar of Judaism. It is a union of two people. It is also a meeting of two families and a whole community, which is why Jewish traditions around marriage are so full of company and celebration.
The path usually starts with a period of romance, in which the couple get to know each other and judge whether the two are well matched. Once the decision is made, the couple become formally engaged. The engagement is called tena’im, and it is the moment when both families come together to celebrate and to agree the terms of the marriage.
The wedding itself has several parts. The marriage contract, the ketubah, is signed and read. The kiddushin, the act of betrothal, is a holy and joyous event, and it takes place under a wedding canopy, the chuppah. The chuppah symbolizes the new Jewish home the couple are making, and it is open on all sides, to show hospitality and the couple’s openness to their community.
One of the central parts of the ceremony is the recitation of the Sheva Brachot, the seven blessings. They express joy, love and hope, and are said over a cup of wine. The couple drink from the cup, which signifies their shared life and commitment. The exchange of rings is another essential part. The groom places a plain gold band on the bride’s index finger, and in some communities the bride may place a ring on the groom’s finger. The ring is an unbroken circle of love and commitment, and its plainness, without any adornment, reflects the simplicity and purity of the commitment.
Breaking the glass is a touching and widely recognized tradition. The groom shatters a glass under his foot, a sign of the fragility of life and of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and a reminder of the importance of empathy and compassion even in times of celebration. The couple then spend a few private minutes together, called yichud, before the festive meal, where the seven blessings are said once again. For seven consecutive days after the wedding, family and friends host further festive meals, also called Sheva Brachot, which celebrate the newlyweds and repeat the joy of the occasion.
Jewish marriage is not only a union of two persons but also a meeting of families and communities. The focus is on community involvement, and on family, friends and neighbors taking part. In this way a Jewish wedding is not just a private affair but a shared celebration, and it reinforces the connection between Jewish people everywhere.
Beyond the ceremony, Jewish tradition places great importance on the ongoing nature of the commitment. The idea of shalom bayit, peace in the home, is central: the couple are responsible for creating a harmonious and loving household, and a strong, supportive marriage is held to matter for the couple’s own well-being and for society. Jewish law also recognizes the sanctity of marriage and puts a strong emphasis on fidelity and mutual respect between spouses. The ketubah, the marriage contract, sets out the husband’s responsibilities to his wife and ensures her well-being and financial security. This legal document reflects a commitment to fairness and justice within the marriage.
The rest of this guide takes each part in turn.
What is the ketubah, and why does it matter?
The ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract, a cornerstone of Jewish marriage and far more than a mere legal contract. It is a holy document that weaves together the religious, cultural and legal sides of the marriage covenant. The word comes from the Hebrew katav, “to write”. Many ketubot are beautifully calligraphed and decorated, and they express the real commitment between a Jewish bride and groom and the rights and responsibilities each takes on. Rooted in tradition and developed over centuries, it reflects the sanctity of the marital union within the Jewish community. For more background, see the Wikipedia article on the ketubah.
Where does the ketubah come from?
The idea of a written marriage contract goes back to the ancient Jewish legal texts. Over the centuries the ketubah came to set out the groom’s financial obligations to his wife, protecting her well-being and security within the marriage. In that sense it reflects a commitment to fairness and justice in the relationship, and it is one reason Jewish law places such weight on fidelity and mutual respect.
How is a ketubah written and used?
Making a ketubah is a thoughtful and collaborative process. A skilled scribe, a sofer, traditionally prepares it, writing the text carefully according to Jewish legal requirements. It states the groom’s commitment to provide for his bride’s material needs and may add further terms the couple agree. Its language reaches beyond the practical. Many ketubot include verses from the Song of Songs, the biblical book that images the love between God and the Jewish people, and that poetry lifts the document from a legal instrument to something spiritual and emotional.
The ketubah is a statement of the rights and responsibilities within the marriage, and it is also a tangible reminder of the sanctity of the marital bond. It is read aloud at the wedding, before witnesses, which formalizes the covenant. Afterwards it is displayed in the couple’s home, a sign of the permanence of their commitment and a lasting reminder of the vows made under the chuppah.
Has the ketubah changed over time?
Yes. The ketubah has developed in response to changing social norms and to the differences between Jewish denominations. Couples often personalize the text, with modern language and themes that speak to their own relationship, and artistic touches such as illustrations or symbolic imagery make each document individual. Wording also differs between Jewish denominations. The ketubah also plays a part in affirming the principle of equality within Jewish marriages. Traditionally the financial commitments sit on the groom, but some couples, in modern Orthodox and other communities, choose wording that shares the commitments more evenly.
How does shidduchim, Jewish matchmaking, work?
Shidduchim, matchmaking, is a respected tradition within Jewish communities that has passed through generations. It preserves the sanctity of marriage while recognizing the importance of community involvement. Rooted in Jewish values and religious teaching, the shidduch system is a time-honored way of finding a life partner. Its essence is the belief that a community shares responsibility for the well-being of its members, especially in something as significant as marriage. Traditionally it involves the cooperation of family, friends and community leaders, who offer their insight and guidance to help someone find a suitable match.
In many cases a professional matchmaker, a shadchan, plays a central part. The shadchan is a bridge between families and weighs religious observance, values and family background when proposing a match. Good matchmakers look further than compatibility on paper, to character, temperament and shared life goals.
The process puts the values of modesty and privacy first. Respect for the people involved is paramount. The search for a life partner is treated with sensitivity and discretion, and early meetings are often arranged with the guidance of a third party so that they stay respectful and focused. When a match is proposed, families come together to celebrate, and a network of support stands behind both people through this stage of life.
Shidduchim is more than a matchmaking system. It is a cultural and shared effort, and it reflects how closely the Jewish community is bound together, with joint responsibility for fostering meaningful and lasting relationships. It is rooted in the past and still relevant in Jewish communities today. Dynamics have changed with the times, yet community involvement, privacy and respect for the individual remain. It continues to be a source of connection and cohesion, and a sign of the enduring strength of communal ties in the pursuit of lasting and meaningful marriages.
What happens at kiddushin, the betrothal?
Kiddushin, the betrothal ceremony, is a sacred and joyous occasion and an important step on the road to Jewish marriage. It is rooted in religious significance and cultural symbolism. The word comes from kadosh, “holy” or “set apart”. The ceremony blesses the union of bride and groom in the presence of witnesses and, most important, before God.
At its center are the exchange of vows and the giving of the ring, with the words that go with it. The groom places a plain gold band on the bride’s index finger and says: “Harei at mekudeshet li b’taba’at zo k’dat Moshe v’Yisrael”, “Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel.” By accepting the ring, the bride gives her consent to the union and to its blessedness.
Why is the ring plain gold?
Its simplicity stands for the purity of the commitment, free of ornament and material show. Giving and accepting the ring also expresses the groom’s commitment to provide for his bride and the bride’s acceptance of the covenant. The plain band is an unbroken circle, a symbol of love and commitment without end. In some communities the bride also gives the groom a ring.
The ceremony builds up to the Sheva Brachot, the seven blessings, which stand for joy, love and hope for the future. They are said over a cup of wine, and the couple share the cup, a sign of the life they are about to start. Breaking the glass is a poignant and widely recognized tradition within kiddushin as well: the groom shatters a glass under his foot, in memory of the fragility of life and of the Temple in Jerusalem, and as a reminder of empathy and compassion in a time of celebration.
Kiddushin is not only a legal matter. It is a spiritual meeting of the strong bond being created. Family and friends witness the ceremony, which is a reminder that Jewish marriage is a shared event. A couple who go through kiddushin enter a legal and binding agreement, and also begin a journey of holiness, commitment and mutual support, laying the foundation for a life rooted in Jewish values and tradition.
What does the chuppah represent?
The chuppah is the wedding canopy, a symbol of holiness and continuity and a picture of the home the couple are building together. It is open on all sides, which signals the hospitality they promise to offer in their new life together: a home that welcomes family, friends and the wider community.
Under the chuppah the bride and groom stand at the turning point of their lives. Its openness shows a couple receptive to their surroundings, inviting the blessings of family and community to cover them as they enter the covenant. Its plain nature reflects the simplicity and purity of the commitment.
Traditionally the canopy is adorned with a rich tapestry, often a family heirloom or a cloth with deep sentimental value. Bringing in family pieces reinforces the idea that the home being founded is more than a physical space: it is a continuation of generations, blending past and future. The chuppah is also often set up outdoors, which ties the ceremony to the natural world. That choice reflects the Jewish belief in a divine role in the marital union, and the importance of grounding the ceremony in the wider context of creation. The open sky above becomes a picture of the limitless possibilities of a shared life.
The chuppah, with its roots in tradition and its modern adaptations, gathers up what a home is: a place of belonging, love and shared experience that reaches beyond the physical structure to the spiritual and the communal. Standing beneath it, a couple pledge their love and commitment, take part in a legacy of Jewish tradition, and promise to nurture a home that echoes warmth, hospitality and lasting values.
What are the 7 blessings (Sheva Brachot) at a Jewish wedding?
The Sheva Brachot, or Seven Blessings, are a central and joyous part of the Jewish wedding. They are the Jewish wedding ceremony blessings, and they stand for the couple’s journey into a holy life blessed with love, joy and prosperity. They are said over a cup of wine and carry deep spiritual and communal meaning. The first blessing is over the wine. The others praise the Creator, give thanks for the creation of humanity, and pray for the joy of Zion and for the happiness of the couple, ending with joy, love, companionship, peace and the rebuilding of Jerusalem. Together they recognize the many sides of married life and pray for a harmonious and fruitful future.
Each blessing reflects a different side of married life, and together they portray the depth of commitment, shared happiness and the hope of finding love within the Jewish tradition. Friends and family often recite them, which brings out the shared nature of a Jewish wedding. The couple drink from the same cup, a sign of the shared life and mutual responsibility they are taking on. The number seven carries its own meaning in Jewish tradition, standing for completeness and fullness.
What are Sheva Brachot meals?
The blessings do not end with the ceremony. For seven days after the wedding, family and friends traditionally host festive meals for the newlyweds, and the seven blessings are said again at each one. The week keeps the joy of the wedding going and reinforces the community’s joy in the couple and its support for them.
Why does the groom break a glass?
Breaking the glass is the best-known moment of a Jewish wedding. At the end of the ceremony, after the seven blessings, the groom shatters a glass under his foot. The act carries several meanings at once.
- The fragility of life. It is a sober reminder of impermanence, an acknowledgment that even in a moment of great joy we stay mindful of the world’s challenges.
- The destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. Breaking the glass recalls this historic loss, and with it the couple’s shared responsibility to repair the brokenness in the world and to build a home filled with compassion and empathy. Jerusalem has a place in the wedding for that reason. If you plan to visit, our Israel destination page is a starting point.
- Joy and sorrow together. The sound of breaking glass is met with a cheer of “Mazel tov!”, “good luck” or “congratulations”. It captures the balance of joy and sorrow in life.
The glass-breaking marks both the fragility of life and the commitment to turn brokenness into wholeness within the marriage. The act also binds the couple and their families to the shared Jewish story. It invites reflection on the challenges ahead and the resilience needed to meet them. Its shards scatter in every direction, a reminder that even in brokenness there is room for beauty and growth. The couple commit to face life’s challenges together, with strength and grace, and to bring light to the places that need repair.
What happens after the ceremony, and why is marriage important in Judaism (shalom bayit)?
After the glass breaks, the couple traditionally spend a few private minutes together, called yichud. It marks the exclusivity of their new relationship. They then join the festive meal, where the seven blessings are said again.
Beyond the wedding day, Jewish tradition puts great weight on the ongoing nature of the commitment, and this is why marriage is so important in Judaism. Shalom bayit, peace in the home, is the central idea. It describes the couple’s responsibility to build a harmonious and loving household. A strong, supportive marriage is held to matter for the couple’s own well-being and for society as a whole. Jewish law recognizes the sanctity of marriage and puts a strong emphasis on fidelity and mutual respect between spouses.
Jewish marriage is also a community event. The emphasis is on family, friends, neighbors and fellow community members taking part, so that marriage is a shared celebration and not only a private affair, and it strengthens the ties between Jewish families everywhere.
Why do Jewish marriage traditions last?
In Jewish marriage traditions, the celebration of love through marriage is a timeless and profound journey. Each ceremony, from the carefully written ketubah to the breaking of the glass, adds to the depth and holiness of the marriage bond. The ketubah is a record of the commitment to support one another, and a cherished reminder of the vows made under the chuppah. Matchmaking is about more than pairing two people: it builds relationships on shared values. Kiddushin turns the betrothal into a sacred act and grounds the union in spirituality. Under the chuppah, which stands for the future home, and with the seven blessings said around them, the couple are woven into the fabric of their community. The broken glass is a sober reminder of the weight of what they have taken on, and yichud marks the special bond between them.
Seen together, Jewish marriage traditions celebrate the present and are also a bridge to the past and a foundation for the future. Love, in this tradition, is a continuum, something that grows stronger through time and joins generations together in a cultural and spiritual dance that reaches beyond the moment. Jewish culture’s marriage traditions are the thread that holds that story together. Families who want to celebrate a milestone together can see how we plan Pesach and Sukkot programs, or contact us with a question. If you plan to see the places where Jewish life and history are kept, our Jewish heritage tours are the place to start, and the rest of our guides are on the blog.